Urgent Plea.

Dear UFO/God/Rational Thinking/Karma

We, the Pakistani people, urgently require our political leaders to gain some perspective and, if you can manage it, some amount of sanity. We want them to stop making empty promises, we need them to make a decision about the deposed judges and stick to it, we want them to do whatever they want to do with President Musharraf, but just go ahead and DO it.  We want them to solve the food and energy crises, and perhaps do something about the rising inflation.  And last, but not the least, we would like them to stop invoking Benazir’s name in every goddamn sentence.

XOXO

-A Beleagured Citizen Who Watches Too Much Pakistani TV.

News Spews

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, you’re watching your computer screen, and these are the headlines.

*Play instantly addictive theme music*

• The leaders of two major Pakistani political parties cannot come to a decision regarding the restoration of the judiciary, hence further negotiations have been suspended. The decision will now be made by the political leader who wins three games of Bluff in succession.

• Another suicide blast has taken place in the country, making Pakistan a more valuable ally in the United States led War on Terror. The blast is expected to help increase U.S. aid in the country.

• In the world of sports, Shahrukh Khan was jumping around like a monkey in the stadium today. Shoaib Akhtar and Shahrukh Khan are expected to attend the seminar ‘Learn How To Behave Like An Outta Control Celeb!’

• And in the business sector, petrol prices have been increased once again as Pakistan remains adamant to not explore alternative sources of energy.

Stay tuned for further updates. Now a message from our corporate-blood sucking sponsors.

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Pakistan 1, Rest of the World 0.

A week ago, I texted a fellow journalist and asked him what he thought of the election results. His reply: Pakistan 1, Rest of the World 0.

As the sense of euphoria settles down, we wait for the negotiations to end, for the oath taking ceremonies, and the flashbulbs that will explode when our future Prime Minister will vow to serve the nation.

As a nation, we are used to waiting. We wait for leaders to fulfill promises [usually in vain], we wait for politicians to finish their cups of tea and make decisions in rooms surrounded by gaudy furniture, as they decide who will become the next Prime Minister. We wait for basic amenities, we wait for results of inquiries [which usually never come or are filled with a million discrepancies]. We wait, and occasionally, like today, we are filled with hope too, that maybe there will be changes, positive changes and that we can tell our children, our cats, our friends far away that there is light at the end of this dark, dreary tunnel.

But maybe I’m just tired of not believing in a better future or that our leaders may have changed for the better, and am grasping desperately to believe that Pakistan’s real life will soon begin. Or maybe Article 58(2)B will be used in the near distant future, and our euphoric bubble will be cruelly burst once again. For now, I’m just going to wait for tomorrow.

Still Ticking.

In less than 24 hours, we have had a presidential election and have unofficially declared a winner, who may still be declared ineligible to contest elections. We have also had an ordinance passed, which gives power hungry politicians to dip into the coffers of the country. Many of the people I met honestly don’t give a shit as to who rules over them. Their lives aren’t getting any better, and they’re still as downtrodden as they were a few years, or a few decades ago.

This country needs a revolution that is not tainted with an unquenchable thirst for power, and a lust for money.

Reality Check.

In an interview on Geo News aired a few minutes ago, Pakistani President General Pervez Musharraf says he would like the media to be ‘realistic’. What is reality, I ask? Is it unrealistic to say that journalists are harassed in this country on a disturbingly frequent basis, that news channels are not allowed to cover events in Baluchistan or send in camera crews to the tribal areas? Is it unrealistic to say that journalists were beaten and tear gassed on Saturday in Islamabad? Or is the ISPR-approved reality the only form of reality we should believe in?

Really Mr. President, do you think we’re all THAT gullible?

Tomorrow.

‘Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.’
-The Beatles

Judgment day has come and gone, and a farce of a presidential election is a few days away. We are left sniffing tear gas and looking on in horror as journalists and lawyers are manhandled live on television, while the Information Minister smirks as he sees clouds of tear gas envelop the crowd outside. Not that this hasn’t happened in the past - midnight arrests, bans, gag orders and more have been a ritual with each government, but now even the thought of what tomorrow will bring makes me want to drown my sorrows in explosive cocktails. Tomorrow will be a better day..gah, tomorrow will be worse than today…because each day’s excesses makes the government think they can get away with just a little bit more than before.

And the saddest part is, they actually do.