Image: Associated Press

Via The Guardian:

Pakistan was reeling tonight from a spree of militant violence that plunged its cultural capital into chaos and demonstrated the bloody resolve of Taliban extremists vowing to overthrow the state.

Five attacks in a day in Kohat, Peshawar and Lahore that have left at least 40 people dead and scores injured. Interior Minister Rehman Malik was at his usual best with his statement “Terrorists will conduct more strikes”, while the police and commandos battled to regain control of the Elite Forces HQ and the Manawan Police Training Academy in Lahore, this is obviously the beginning of the fallout of the Waziristan operation. With the Pakistan Army poised to start the war to take back Waziristan, which will be a long and bloody operation (considering it took the Army over 18 hours to regain control of its GHQ, lets reserve our optimism for the outcome of this war),  I am now tired of asking where our government is, what the intelligence apparatus of this country is doing, and why we can’t forget about the Kerry-Lugar Bill for a minute and focus on the fact that we have a war raging on in the country that we don’t seem to be winning. In just one example of the security lapses today, according to eyewitness accounts at Manawan, the walls of the academy, which the terrorists had scaled barely six months ago, have still not been reinforced, and still stand tall at a measly 5 feet.

Oh, just to be clear, the terrorists didn’t enter via the gates to the academy this time either. And if the security setup is going to remain the same, we might as well just hand them the keys to the Kingdom of Pakistan.

A new video has emerged, taken from what appears to be a mobile phone, of Pakistani army personnel beating up suspected Taliban militants (who appear to hail from FATA/NWFP, from what one can tell).

Earlier, reports emerged that the Pakistani Army had left alleged Taliban members’ bodies out on the roads of Swat. The Sunday Telegraph cited an 18-year old boy “describing seeing dogs eating the bodies of bombing victims lying in his village before he fled.”

According to a BBC report on the video, DG ISPR Athar Abbas says this is “a very serious accusation.”

“I cannot comment on the video till we have examined it. This will take some time as the army headquarters will have to be involved in the process.”

The video is sickening to watch, but the report doesnt come as a surprise. As I mentioned earlier, reports of the Pakistani Army’s involvement in torture and even war crimes in the battle against the Taliban have been circulating for months now. Whether this video is real or not [and so far, it looks pretty authentic], what one would really like is some honesty from the Pakistani Army.

Update: The first video was removed from YouTube almost an hour after I first saw it, YouTube says the video violates their Terms of Use. Blog post has been updated with new video link.

I’ve been meaning to blog. I really, really have.

Then I read Ali Sethi’s The Wishmaker. Not only did I waver between wanting to shoot myself or fall asleep at intervals while reading the book, but at the end of it, I fell into a pit of depression – godawfulbooks always do that to me; the recovery process from reading the first chapter of Aatish Taseer’s Stranger to History was an experience I’d like to forget. The book has no plot to speak of, and is just a collection of random incidents and impressions thrown together. I could go on and on about what I thought of the book, but I will take a shortcut and point you to a great review of Ali Sethi’s book that more or less echoes what I thought of the book, at Ultrabrown.

On the other hand, Baitullah Mehsud can finally be pronounced a dead man. Now we can continue arguing about whether the heir Hakimullah is dead as well, the increasing number of US drone strikes and their effectiveness, Rehman Malik’s mind boggling statements and Marvi Memon’s conspiracy theories [the latest one, via her Twitter feed: "Break in attempts in my office last nite! If govt is so desparate why don't they chek website. It has all documents!"].

Or we can just start placing bets on the Champions Trophy semi-final and start the endless round of questions, to be followed by the usual round of recriminations if Pakistan loses. So will Pakistan win? Will KESC cooperate and not cut off our electricity just as Shahid Afridi’s bowling spell begins? Will there be a kiss, and who will be the lucky recipient? Will we spy Veena Malik [allegedly in South Africa according to a report cited by Cafe Pyala] in the stadium? And lastly, will Wasim Akram calm the fck down in the commentary box!?

The opening sentence of this article is so well-crafted I want to make babies with it.

From the sweeping presidential palace of Islamabad to an unassuming three-bedroom flat behind the shisha bars and kebab joints of London’s Arabic quarter – one might have expected Pervez Musharraf to do better.

The article also made me feel quite good about literally having a haleem joint, a milkshake joint and various bakeries literally a stone’s throw away from my flat. Of course, my apartment didn’t cost over £1m and I don’t have private security and Scotland Yard detail following me. Instead, I have a chowkidaar who stays asleep for most of the day, and regularly refuses to wake up when the water tanker arrives or if one ever has guests waiting at the apartment’s main gate.

In other news, I was jolted out of my flu-induced stupor by this image of Khalid Sheikh Mohammad, oddly timed to be released around the 9/11 anniversary, which I suggest you show your children (if you have any) if they ask you too many questions. It should shut them up for a while.

Also, If you get invited to the PM’s house anytime soon, remember to take along your own mithai, cos he ain’t serving any. Of course, there is no way of really verifying if this will actually lead to an be enforced, and if other politicians will follow suit, but in any case don’t forget to pack those Toblerones.

And last, but not the least, Meera makes a journalist’s day.

P.S: Those of you who come to this blog looking for Ali Mustafa, please go away. He has a Twitter account, go read his updates instead. I’m going to go take care of my flu.

I’ve used up all my active brain cells trying to field off questions why I don’t fast and getting suggestions from friends and acquaintances on how to answer such question [my favourite suggestion so far: "when they ask you why you're not fasting, you ask them how their sex life is"]. Khair, I will just post about what I’ve been reading this week and curse myself later about my sheer laziness [I mean, just look at the blog post title, its stolen from a Phoenix song!].

1. Bositive Neuj Bakistan, one of the funniest blogs I’ve come across in a while. While you’re at it, do check out their Calendar-e-Bakstan, their representative on Twitter LalBrofessor is pretty hilarious too.

2. From Foreign Policy: Cheney’s Jihad by Peter Bergen, detailing the CIA interrogation methods and their effectiveness for the United States.

3. Mohammed Hanif on Jaswant Singh’s book being banned, reports of Pakistan’s demise and more in Times of India. My favourite quote: “Pakistan implodes almost on a daily basis, then gets bored with its own miseries and goes to sleep hoping to wake up just fine. That has never quite happened. Someone recently said, what do you expect from a country where the Father of the Nation (M A Jinnah) happens to be a brother to the Mother of the Nation (Fatima Jinnah). So it’s a bit of a dysfunctional family but then we tell ourselves, which family isn’t?” For those who want to read it in Urdu, there’s Hanif’s article on BBC Urdu about the Jaswant Singh controversy, which you can read here

4. Sex education in schools or not is the new debate, at least, it is in my office following this piece of news. Grrr, in a country where girls get married off at age 8 [sickening, I know], people have a problem with sex education for their children. Parents like the ones who are protesting need to realise that their children will benefit from this, not turn into the Pamela Andersons and Tommy Lees of this world. And having scanned through the book, I do understand that its a little advanced in terms of the concepts and terminology used, but if I had a child, I’d rather they read about this in school as opposed to hearing nonsensical concepts from someone else who regularly confuse their arse and brains.

5. Sadequain’s masterpieces are at risk of fading away, says a report in The National. Having had my breath taken away by the beauty of the murals at the Frere Hall and Lahore Museum, and being appalled at their condition, this article makes me wish I was rich enough to fund the restoration work myself. Where are the so-called patrons of art, who have numerous works by Sadequain gracing their walls, when you need them?

6. A Pakistani man died during the recording of a Unilever show in Thailand. Of course, since according to this piece, “Unilever is Pakistan’s biggest advertiser, with spending in 2007 of $20 million, according to Advertising Age’s ranking of top global advertisers,” don’t expect to see this being talked about in the print or electronic media.

On Saturday, I was sent to cover a peace rally against the Gojra incident by the People’s Aman Committee, headed by Sardar Abdur Rehman Baloch.

The irony of it all, of course, struck me and my fellow colleagues as incredibly hilarious. Sardar Abdul Rehman Baloch is Rehman Dakait’s official name, and the fact that one of Karachi’s most notorious gangsters was heading an organisation called People’s Aman Committee left us giggling all evening.

When you live in a city like Karachi, there is no way you can not hear Rehman Dakait’s name. The rumours were numerous: “Rehman was driving Benazir’s car on 18th October 2008, and drove her to Bilawal House after the bomb blasts on the 19th”, “Rehman was seen in public at Saddar”, “Rehman has turned to a life of peace,” “Rehman’s drug and arms smuggling trade is worth billions”, each rumour more unbelievable and dramatic than the one before it.

This morning, I woke up to the news that Rehman Dakait was dead. Killed in a police encounter by a police force headed none other than by SSP Chaudhry Aslam who had a long and rather colourful history with Rehman. Rehman had been captured by Aslam years ago, and then fled from police custody. Rehman Dakait allegedly carried out an assassination attempt on Aslam as well.

Chaudhry Aslam was later arrested in an extra judicial murder case, and after the charges got dropped, re-entered the police force. In January, plans were announced to start a clean-up operation in Lyari.

Following Rehman’s death, at least five people have been killed in incidents of violence, with life paralyzed in parts of Karachi.

What’s fishy about this whole situation is that Rehman was largely considered to have been an ally of the PPP, with members of Rehman’s gang allegedly being part of Benazir’s, and then Zardari’s private security force. And this is where the questions start: why has Rehman Dakait been killed now? The authorities could have arrested him and/or killed him in a police encounter years ago. And what happens next: will a new war break out in Karachi on who will take Rehman’s place, or will Lyari finally see peace?

Additional Reading/Watching:

Geo TV’s report on Rehman Dakait’s death
Lyari Footballers Turn To Life of Crime
Rehman Dakait on YouTube

P.S: I apologise if there are any factual mistakes in the above blog post. I am only human and am still trying to understand the circumstanes leading to Baitullah Mehsud’s death; Rehman Dakait is another Pandora’s Box, information on the topic is scarce and I have bouts of short-term memory loss.

Dear readers, if it wasn’t bad enough that we’re still watching the aftermath  of the Gojra massacre unfolding with mind boggling explanations offered by the government, we now have someone who can make heads explode in a 140 characters (or less): the one and only Marvi Memon.

Earlier this month, a friend convinced me to follow Marvi Memon, the MNA from PML-Q, on Twitter. I expected hilarity (which Marvi Memon delivered), but today, Ms. Memon just took her tweeting to all new heights.

Example 1: “Jhandula resurfacin in kchi part of destabiliz of pak/ trying to create ethnic sectarian strife/ pmln ppp both rersponsible/aug 11 sspeech”

Ms. Memon, firstly, its Jundullah, not Jhandula. Secondly, at least cite your source, which is the Daily Times in this case. Also, doesn’t the term Jhandula bring to mind an image of a group of rabid flag makers?

Example 2: “My speech on gojra: we condemn it as a party, intel agencies had forwarned but nothin was done/ militants from jhang entered to create desta”

Desta? Oh dear, revenge of the 140 character limit.

Example 3: “We hav jst walked back after walkout protesting on christians being slaughtered in gojra”

Err, didnt take you long to walk back to air-conditioned comfort.

Example 4: “Will travel all of pak to save system thru such systems which govt can’t stop / all dev states have it/ paya jaam poss so don’t push us”

I know this country faces many threats and problems, but the idea of a paya jaam strike called by PML-Q only makes me giggle.

Example 5: “Giving directions to team n Sorting priorities from car. Enroute nazim convention. Will fight for all that’s was gud and that wil b gud.”

All that was good and that will be good. That has to rival the Freedom speech from Braveheart.

As my friend Jay points out, she is a gangsta rapper in the making. Move over Bakhtawar Bhutto-Zardari, Marvi Memon is here to fight for all that was good and that will be good.

Also, if someone does manage to understand what she says, can they please let me know? I’ve gotten a massive headache trying to decipher her tweets, and there’s no Dan Brown in sight either to help me.  Will blog more later, right now I’m going off to fight for all that will be good, Marvi Memon style.

Nearly two weeks before we’re set to celebrate yet another Independence Day, and people in this country still can’t learn how to tolerate members of minority religions in the country. Or maybe, in a weird, demented way, they were trying to recreate Partition for us.

Via the BBC:

Six Christians have been killed in religious unrest in Pakistan’s central Punjab, after days of tension sparked by the rumoured desecration of a Koran.

The four women, a man and a child died as Muslim militants set fire to Christian houses in the town of Gojra, officials said.

TV footage showed burning houses and streets strewn with debris as people fired at each other from rooftops.

YouTube doesn’t have any videos yet of the footage that was aired on national news stations today, but having seen the live coverage from Gojra on half a dozen channels, it is not just appalling, but chilling, as to how, to quote Federal Minister for Minorities Shahbaz Bhatti, “a mob misled by Muslim extremists” set fire to a Christian-inhabited locality with multiple cameras capturing it on tape. MPA Saleem Khokhar informed me this afternoon that this is the fourth incident against minorities in Punjab in this month alone, and the Punjab police force has yet to provide security to the Christians in the area.

For a history lesson, Wikipedia (yes, I was lazy) has a brief rundown of the major incidents involving persecution of Christians in Pakistan.

I’m going to go cry now.

It has been a very tumultuous week. First up, I would like to say that I have no words to elaborate on how I feel about the King of Pop’s death. The sister has written a very moving piece on her blog, so you can just read that.

Secondly, I am extremely happy about the Delhi (I’ve always wondered, does one say Delhi or Dilli?) High Court verdict on homosexuality in India. Kudos to the DHC for ensuring homosexuals have equal rights, this is really a remarkable achievement for gay rights’ activists in India. Fingers crossed that India’s colourful political parties accept the verdict with dignity.

And while its unfair to compare the two countries’ judicial systems, a recent ruling in one of our courts has left me seeing red all day.

Via Dawn:

Three suspects in the child marriage case were on Wednesday granted bail by a judicial magistrate (south) against a surety bond of Rs5,000 each.

Eight-year-old Zahida was married to 17-year-old Dilshad in Azam Basti in the jurisdiction of the Mehmoodaad police station on June 25. Later, acting on information provided by some neighbours, the police arrested the girl’s father, Abdul Rasool, the bridegroom, Dilshad, and the Qazi, Qari Naqib Ali Shah, under Section 151 of the criminal procedure code.

Rs.5000 is set as bail and they’re free. The would-be bride is EIGHT years old! The father, qari and the boy’s father should be publicly hanged, along with rapists and child molesters. Maybe that would make them stop suggesting that eight is a suitable age to be married.

This week also saw the publication of a report suggesting that the profits from smuggled cigarettes go into the pockets of the Pakistani Taliban. So the next time you’re at the pan wala, think twice before you ask for the ‘Farsi wala Malboro.’

Then there was today: I spent about six hours at the Jinnah International Airport in Karachi while covering an assignment and have had several realisations hit me at the speed of lightning:

1. People still come to the airport to see the sights.

2. There are WAY too many Chinese-looking people who come to Karachi. What are they all doing here!?

3. It is extremely easy to spread a rumour in Karachi. After being asked, for what must have been the 1000th time, what our camera crew was doing there, we joking replied: “Waiting for Shahrukh Khan to come.” That rumour could have gotten way out of hand had we actually kept a straight face when saying it. I do hope there aren’t people at the airport right now holding up placards saying “SRK I <3 U."

4. Karachi's airport shop has no decent food. Except the packet of Lays' I had there was definitely more fresher than what you get in most stores in the city.

5. Wannabe designer/male model should not wear bright green sneakers to match his t-shirt. It reminds one of puke, not grass. And carrying an LV bag (which looked suspiciously like a handbag) does not maketh a model.

6. Sitting on a luggage trolley is not good for the bones.

I'm sure there were more realisations, but I'm ready to crawl into bed and sleep the sleep of the dead. Unless the cat gets to my pillow first, in which case it will be yet another battle of "Move Your Butt Smoky Cat." Stay tuned.

P.S. Fat monkeys in a zoo in Japan are being put on a diet according to a report in The Telegraph. I’m a little scared after seeing the accompanying photo.

I don’t know what my favourite moment of the T20 Final is; the Sri Lankan batting order falling apart so quick that I thought I was hallucinating, Afridi’s sensible turn at the bat coupled with the sixers and boundaries in the last few overs, Dil Dil Pakistan playing at Lord’s, the intelligent cricket played by the Pakistani team…all in all, I’m over the moon, what an incredible game this final has been. Seventeen years and one day after we won the World Cup in 1992, Pakistani cricketers have given its countrymen an indescribable sense of elation. Pakistan Zindabad!

[Images courtesy Reuters]