The Long March Drinking Game.

I feel sorry for Zardari, Taseer and the man who [oh the horror] runs the Interior Ministry in his ‘advisor’ role, Rehman Malik. They’re trying every trick [apart from imposition of Emergency and taking TV channels off air] that Musharraf and Co. pulled off in 2007 to subdue the very angry Sharif brothers and the lawyers. They even tried sending away Tahira Abdullah [a renown human rights activist] to Adiala Jail. The lawyers and the political workers are going underground [again]. This would be comical, if it wasn’t so goddamn sad. I suggest, if you don’t have to go to work early or can skip out early, to stock up on petrol to fuel your generators for the inevitable electricity breakdowns and batteries for your UPS’ and TV remote controls, and play the following drinking game every day for the upcoming week, inspired by the Guardian’s Oscars drinking game:

1. Drink a shot of tequila every time a high profile leader gets arrested.
2. Drink neat scotch every time Nawaz Sharif says ‘I am saving Pakistan’
3. Drink neat scotch every time Rehman Malik says the words ‘rule of law’.
4. Drink Murree beer every time Salman Taseer appears on TV with his shades. [Optional: watch Salman Taseer on TV with shades on]
5. Drink Indus Breezers every time a political worker is arrested.
6. Drink a shot of dhabay wali chai every time Imran Khan posts up a YouTube video from some ‘unknown location’.
7. Spray some hairspray in the air every time Sherry Rehman comes on TV with a new explanation.
8. Eat some multani halwa every time PM Gilani comes on TV. What he says is inconsequential.
9. Smoke a cigar every time Kayani meets with Zardari or Gilani.

and last but not the least…

10. Drink some more [of anything] when Aitzaz and Kurd get arrested.

Please feel free to add your suggestions.

  1. Bubs said:

    Every time Geo flashes a breaking news ticker for something as inconsequential as Aitzaz moving 1 km to the west, drink deeply from your cup of hemlock.

  2. sabaimtiaz said:

    drink whenever someone mentions ‘charter of democracy!’

  3. Ambreen said:

    aur inn sab ko mitti ka tel kaun kab pilla raha hai?

    this was a delightful post though =) only this time i will oppose emergency

  4. Sahar said:

    Take a shot of Absolut every time Anne Patterson [or other Western diplomat] is shown chatting amiably with a political leader on TV.

    P.S. Long March zindabad!

  5. Hahaha. Sahar and Bubs, loved your suggestions. My two cents: drink anything [water, beer, chai, etc] anytime someone mentions the word dharna and then proceeds to actually go through with it.

  6. Ali Ahmed Kurd said:

    Damn, you people are politically irrelevant and socially indulgent.

  7. Aitzaz Ahsan said:

    Mr Kurd,

    Let them be, at least they’re not copying my hairstyle, which, by the way, is frickin awesome.

  8. And now, Zardari and the gang have gone a step further in opying out of Musharraf’s textbook. They’ve banned geo!

  9. If we look at the history of long march many nations use it, its only Pakistan government which creating problems, we have right to fight if our leaders are doing against rules and regulations

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