Like many others, I am now beyond depressed at the state of affairs in the country, and am resorting to watching [gah!] bad Bollywood movies [trust me, I was watching Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum last night], watching PTV [I kid you not, it does wonders for one’s daily dose of self affirmation that everything is A-okay] and reading every paper’s Culture section online. Which is where I found this somewhat amusing article, so behold:
The Times: The Queen’s iPod: now that’s what one calls music
The Obamas gave the Queen an iPod as a gift but all it contains are show tunes and footage of royal visits. HRH might prefer to request this playlist from the Royal Downloader
You Can’t Touch This
by MC Hammer
Michelle Obama might have been granted permission to get up close and personal, but one doesn’t want all the commoners getting similar ideas.
Zadok the Priest
It is, after all, a long time since 1952, so Her Maj might want to remind herself of the stonking Baroque tune that has been played at every coronation since 1727.
You Say It Best When You Say Nothing at All
by Ronan Keating
Invaluable advice for a foot-in-mouth consort.
by David Hasselhoff
Because, of course, the Germans love him.
What Do You Do?
by the Proclaimers
Although the song’s subsequent socialist direction might jar somewhat.
Royal Hunt and Storm
by Berlioz, from Les Troyens
Good for getting in the mood on one of those grey days in Balmoral when the only thing scheduled for entertainment is the casual evisceration of a stag.
A Day at the Races
In the absence of anything on corgis, here’s a nod to the Queen’s second favourite animal from that most regal of bands.
God Save the Queen
We suggest the rendition with which Freddie Mercury and Co used to finish their concerts, as opposed to the marginally less respectful Sex Pistols version.
And a few that might not make the cut…
Elizabeth My Dear
by the Stone Roses
Don’t be fooled by the title; Ian Brown and band wear their republican hearts on their sleeves with the couplet: “Tear me apart and boil my bones/I’ll not rest till she’s lost her throne.”
by Dolly Parton
A reminder of her romantically feckless offspring.